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March 24, 2010 § Leave a comment

I promised I would stop screaming,
I would stop drinking,
Read more,
Start watching the news,

I promised I’d stop fucking strangers
I promised I’d be good, go to bed before 3 am

I promise I wouldn’t spend all their money
I would get myself a job,
I would stop using the word I

I promised I would annihilate
the worst of me,
they would love me more, that way.

Annihilate my hunger,
my constant cravings,
my constant obsessions,

They would love me more this way,
Stronger, fearless, quiet
Serene

They would not leave me in the morning,
If I didn’t fuck them at night,
If I didn’t throw my mouths on theirs,
begging for recognition, begging for attention, begging for affection

The question is,
What is it exactly that I am begging for?
What am I seeking within them ?

Picture; Jackson Eaton

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